Sleep diary

I thought it would be fun to write until I sleep on here so you guys can see just how this works. It’s pretty much the exact same thing as what I do when I write in my book but this would be legible and I can see what I’m writing. When I write in my book it’s in the dark and it makes things hard.

I’ve had loads of dreams about the darkness but I told someone I don’t talk about dreams so I won’t. I think I work my 6 like a 10. I promise I’m not trying to be random I’m literally writing whatever comes to mind. Typos and all. And there will be typos because I can’t even write when I’m awake and alert which is never because I’m rarely awake anymore. I think about the dark a lot and I don’t wanna talk about it. It is very scary but I like the noise is makes because it’s like a hug all over by an ex you really loved. It’s like comforting but it’s also a bit scary because you don’t wanna go back there again because of all the feels.

I don’t like leather it’s very fake even though its from real life animals. I like my meerkat and that’s an innuendo and that is for my eyes only so don’t ask me no questions. My batter is dying and low battery makes me panic because then what will I distract myself with and who’s going to keep me from feelin sad bi was so good at being happy by myself but that’s not true because I never really was alone when I was knee deep in faith in god and I still weren’t hopy.

Don’t attach meaning to everything. But I just now felt a breeze from the fan and I thought of him and the fan in his room and the sound it made when he was making me make sounds and the breeze I felt on my back. It was my birthday but that means nothing because some people dont know the day they were born and they have a reason to celebrate every year and it doesn’t bother them becaue they were born weren’t they and I was born too. So what.

The left arm is pounding near the elbow it seems like the dark has hugged me too tight. Lemme write until I fal asleep because I want to uncover the gremlin inside me and possible let it out but uncovering it would be a good bi keep seeing a small room but the distance at which the sofas are being chucked at me is very far so the room mustn’t be that small. It’s in slow no and the light is coming through the blinds and I’m scared because its so dark even with the light from outside and I don’t want to believe in the moon because we don’t like each other anymore and I don’t wanna give it any meaning in my dream. Daylight robberies were rare and people used to wait too he night to commit crime but people do it in the day time too now. The darks world is very new and it’s not being used for the same thing anymore. It doesn’t see a proditute in the window. People are now asking for directions in the dark like that’s not a scary thing do do they not know they can get stabbed around here. Who game them these ideas. Lamposts. Warm glow from outside my window in the little box toom I fell in love with the dark when I was young because the lamposts get to sing their song like glee with glee

I haven’t laughed in ages and I was forgetting the word chuckling because I don’t do it no more and that’s okay because laughing isn’t the only way out and I’m not living to laugh I’m living to love and that’s not always funny. I loke rhatl he made me laugh yday and i will always appreciate him for it because yay my body still functions prop>rely

The film of emotion the sliver what’s real that rests inside me is just floating between the rib and the spine and if I were to draw a diagram this film that reminds me I’m alive would be just a pencil line and I feel sick and

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Sleep diary

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