It’s been a while since I last posted a Ramadan blogpost. I tend to write my posts after midnight but the distinguished last ten nights of Ramadan had me busy at such a time. Plus any thoughts I did have during these nights were more like conversations with my Creator and spewing private conversations has never been a talent of mine. Anyhow, I’m going to treat this post as the last Ramadan blog because I’m not sure if after the sun sets the community will celebrate Eid tomorrow or the day after. Plus last night, I treated my teraweeh prayer (the optional but still very important prayer Muslims pray during Ramadan) as it was my last. Since last morning I’ve been in a solemn mood because I know Ramadan is coming to an end. I was talking to a friend of mine last night about this sadness and because he isn’t Muslim, I don’t think he fully understood it. So I explained it to him in a way most people could empathise.
Now I know that there a plenty of girls out there who are pretty, lovely and decent. If a guy was to be with them he wouldn’t be sad or overthrown with joy. He’d be okay because he doesn’t know any better. But just imagine, one month, a guy comes across this woman. She’s strikingly beautiful, full of wisdom and knows her worth. Now this guy doesn’t feel like he’s in her league. Loads of guys that have seen this woman think the same. But they all want to be in her company. This one guy has a conversation with her. He spills his past and doesn’t want to make the same mistakes again. He wants to better himself. This woman comforts him, makes him feel good, makes all his hard work and great efforts feel worthwhile. She spurs him on and he loves it. He feels like he can achieve anything. Within a month’s time, he’s fallen in love with this woman. But this woman only stays for this one month. She’s gone and he has to try keeping up what she’s helped him do. He spends half the year sad that she’s away and slowly start slipping into his old habits because that strength within him, the encouragement she gave him, is slowly starting to fade away. He spends the next half of the year not wanting her to come back because she’ll be disappointed with him. He becomes used to seeing ordinary girls because they don’t question him like this woman did. He doesn’t have to try so hard with these other girls. But deep inside, he still longs to see her. While this is all happening, there’s another guy who also loves this woman. I mean, truly loves her. He spent half the year sad that she was gone and clutched onto anything she left behind and the next half preparing for her return.
You may have guessed already but the woman is Ramadan. The main guy in the story is what most people do – fall back into their old habits. And the last guy who was truly in love with Ramadan are those who really take everything good from Ramadan and apply until the next time.
I want to be part of the second group of people. But there’s a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that I’m going to become sucked into the lull of everyday boring life. Maybe I should have more hope in myself that I can do this. Maybe I should repeat my goals and ambitions daily. Maybe I should treat my mind like I would in Ramadan. But that’s really difficult, once she’s gone.. she’s gone. People expect heightened spirituality during this month so it’s easy to motivate yourself to get up and do what you need to do. When Ramadan is over, it’s not going to be so easy. When she’s gone, if I truly love her, I’m going to clutch onto everything she taught me. This will be my test I guess.
All I know is I’m going to really miss her this year. And I really hope and pray that I get to see her next year.